MTV Announces New Holiday Special - "Miley Cyrus' Twerkin' New Year Extravaganza!"

Miley Cyrus, from the VMA's earlier, shows off how clean and healthy her tongue is.

LOS ANGELES - 2013 has been anything but a normal year for Miley Cyrus, the 21-year-old singer and former Disney sweetheart. To wrap up all the fun she has been having, MTV announced that she will be hosting her own New Years special entitled Miley Cyrus' Twerkin' New Year Extravaganza! at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Yes, everything people know and love about Cyrus will be there - the weird-looking teddy bears, the wrecking ball, the spandex, the tongue, the foam finger, even the random, big, orange kitty - except for Hannah Montana, of course.

According to MTV, her first special will start airing at 9 P.M. Eastern Time on New Year's Eve. Although the special will contain much of shock value as well as dig deep behind the singer's background, a representative from MTV suggest that nobody under the age of eighteen should watch this in fear of helicopter parents complaining over their children witnessing their fallen idol's grotesque behavior.

The MTV special will be rated TV-MA for "Mature Adults Only" for several reasons (spoilers ahead):

• Cyrus will hold a smoking contest on stage known as a "Crack Showdown" with former Disney colleague Joe Jonas and Canadian mayor Rob Ford (nobody knows why).
• Cyrus opens up about her father's drug use with cocaine.
• Cyrus will also reveal that after Hannah Montana exposed her identity, she was mugged by an angry mob of parents who realized how fake she was, and as a result, she staged her own death in order to make people feel sorry for Montana and her non-existent career. Cyrus will mention as well that Hannah Montana is currently in hiding from the general public but wants people to believe that she is dead.
• Jimmy Fallon and The Roots will perform We Can't Stop with Cyrus in an attempt to promote The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Fallon will also become a chip-n-dale dancer during the song.
• Robin Thicke will make a surprise entrance as Beatlejuice, even saying his signature catchphrase: "IT'S SHOWTIME!" They will perform Blurred Lines with new and improved choreography.
•  A twerking contest will be held in the audience to see who can twerk the hardest. Whoever wins gets a free shirt that shows Cyrus humping a foam finger and saying, "Twerk Hard or Twerk Home!"
• Cyrus will actually perform her hit song Wrecking Ball naked, expect for her head which she will wear a Mickey Mouse Ears hat.
• Other songs Cyrus plans to perform include Who Owns My Heart, Party in the U.S.A., and Can't Be Tamed. These songs are additional so that she can prove how bad-ass of a rebel she is.
• Billy Ray Cyrus will shake his head in disgust throughout the special.

According to Cyrus herself, anybody college age and older can attend live in New York except for two people - one being her ex-fiance Liam Hemsworth, and the other being his Hunger Games co-star Jennifer Lawrence. To her, they are hypocrites simply because they do not think like her.

As for viewers, just remember to check local listings and turn in to MTV on New Year's Eve for Miley Cyrus' Twerkin' New Year Extravaganza! for almost everybody knows she can't stop... and she won't stop.

Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.