Friday, August 2, 2013

Chaos In Weinergate: The Ongoing Saga

When singer Kelis shows her "milkshake", it brings all the boys to her yard; but when Carlos Danger shows his "sausage", everybody gets offended.


Former Congressman Anthony Weiner just wants to run for New York mayor, but the media keeps him on the edge thanks to the latest sexting scandal. As a result, more attention has been towards Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin than on anything else considered newsworthy, and not everybody is pleased with this. For example, the family most offended by Weiner's actions is the Clinton family. Hillary kept begging Weiner to pull out of the race after he accidentally sent one of his "dick pics" to Bill Clinton under his alias Carlos Danger. The text also said, "I heard you like it like this, Monica." They haven't spoken to each other since.

Other candidates want Weiner to drop out of the mayoral race because it gives them an easier chance of winning, believing that he is too occupied with himself to continue on. Even Eliot Spitzer, who is running as New York City's Comptroller, harassed Weiner with the question, "Are you sexting anyone right now?"  Weiner's response back to Spitzer was, "Well at least my wife isn't embarrassed to appear by my side during my campaign trail." Spitzer was heard responding, "Just don't send my wife any of your 'selfies'."

It does not help that his own spokeswoman quit on him, accusing Weiner's interns of not working on the campaign, and rather on wasting time (as shown below).


His wife Huma Abedin is not the kind of woman who likes to show her emotions yet stays by her husband's side. However, she has been going out more in New York, particularly running errands such as shopping for new outfits, going to spas, and finding a divorce attorney in case the Weiner campaign becomes an ultimate failure. 

The media is shaming Weiner into not taking pictures of himself without clothes, yet others who pose shirtless don't get shamed, such as his pal Spitzer:

Or maybe this guy:

As well as this guy:

The whole campaign has been blown away and all hope may be lost. But don't worry because Weiner will not be pulling out just yet. No, he will fight until he can no longer go far. After all, Weiner knows that quitting isn't the way he rolls... unless people force you to quit a high position such as Congress. Either way, leave it to Weiner, and everything will be okay, right?

For now, let's just hope Weiner's campaign won't decrease in size until September.

Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.

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