If you post a status or "tweet" of your excitement about the show and its host like this:
Only to meet a guy who looks exactly like this:
Then you're in for sheer disappointment.
What most people do not realize is that John Oliver, a British comedian, will be the permanent host of Comedy Central's The Daily Show.
Back in June, Jon Stewart left his hosting position to travel to the Middle East so he could direct his first film titled Death to Smoochy 2: Revenge of The Rhino. In doing so, Stewart left his show in the hands of a "British dude" that nobody had ever heard of before. However, this fascinating creature known as John Oliver has been entertaining audiences despite not being a household name. Strangely enough, the ratings have gone up as well.
I sat down with John Oliver to discuss with him about becoming permanent host of The Daily Show and how guest-hosting has changed his life (in a Q & A format).
Q: Congratulations on hosting The Daily Show so far.
A: Thank you.
Q: How have you been feeling about your hosting job?
A: Well, there are ups and downs to this. I guess I can say I'm happy that people finally realize I exist. At the same time, I can see why the boss left. It's exhausting.
Q: Do you think Americans like European late-night hosts better than American late-night hosts?
A: I guess it depends. I'm not sure if people like me or not, which I can understand if they don't. But hey, if I continue hosting, I could be like that Scottish guy. I forgot his name.
Q: You mean Craig Ferguson?
A: Yeah, him! If he can host a show in Los Angeles, then I can host a show in New York.
Q: What have been your favorite news stories to cover as host?
A: The news of the Royal Baby has been fun. It made me miss home a little. I also like covering any news involving Anthony Wiener. I know he used to be roommates with the boss, but there's no way the boss could hammer that sex addict the way I did. I just chew that Wiener up, spit him out, and chew him up again.
Q: What do you think will be your legacy based on your experiences as the host?
A: For one, I broke the studio lights. I think that will be part of it. Also, explaining to the audience why the boss isn't there and that they're not crazy.
Q: How do the other correspondents feel about this?
A: Most of them are supportive of me. That doesn't mean they're happy though. For example, when it was announced that I would be replacing Jon Stewart as the host, Samantha Bee threw a hissy fit. She complained that the hosting job should have went to her because she had been there for ten years and she claims she has tenure. I asked her if Jason Jones got her pregnant again. I haven't really talked to her that much, other than on the show.
Q: How do you feel about Jon Stewart coming back in September?
A: Wait, is he really coming back?
Q: Yeah. That's what he said.
A: Oh, I thought he was joking. Don't get me wrong, I miss him dearly, but do you know what it's like to be a correspondent? It's like being a servant at Buckingham Palace. A servant can do all the work to make sure everything runs smoothly, and yet regardless of what happens, the King or Queen gets all the attention. Stewart doesn't do shit. It's just that everyone else puts time and effort so he looks good to the public.
Q: So, when Jon Stewart comes back, what will you do?
A: That's easy. I just need my gun.
A: I'm kidding! I wouldn't shoot the boss, even if money was involved. I'd welcome him back with open arms and hug him. Then I'll say, "Screw you, Stewart! I've got the reigns on this wild horse, and I ain't turning around!"
Q: And if Jon gets upset when he realizes he lost his job...?
A: Well, at least there will be a opening for a new correspondent.
Even though Oliver can not wait to continue hosting, others have expressed their thoughts and concerns over this news.
"I want my Jon to come home," cried Stephen Colbert, host of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report. "I mean sure, this John is a nice guy and all. But it's so weird when I look for Jon during the day and all I find is the other John. He is very talented and he kind of looks like a younger, British version of me (minus those hideous teeth), but he will never be the Jon of my heart! I will do everything in my power to keep that John off the air, and I won't give up until they give me back my Jon!"
"I don't like this Oliver Twist guy," said Brian Williams, who was caught breaking into Comedy Central Headquarters in an attempt to kidnap Oliver. "Obviously, he's not Stewart. He seems like a sweet and likable guy, but I can't understand his accent no matter how many times I listen to him. I can't wait for Jon to come back because I don't know how else I'm supposed to get my news. Besides, I'm hoping Jon remembers our ice cream date."
"I actually like the new John," admitted Bill O'Reilly on the set of The O'Reilly Factor. "He seems like a winsome guy, and I like how he doesn't take cheap shots at Fox News. Stewart used to do that all the time, so it's nice to have some relief from that. Hey, I wonder if this guy is easy to manipulate in a debate. Excuse me for a minute. I'm going to see if I can get booked on the show. I have a new book coming out soon."
Still, as John Oliver plans to permanently host The Daily Show forever, Jon Stewart better eat his heart out.
Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.
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