President Obama Cancels Congress's Upcoming Halloween Party

President Barack Obama is tired of waiting on Congress to negotiate with him to raise the debt ceiling and end the government shutdown, which now reaches thirteen days. Disgusted by the lack of action, President Obama decided earlier today to announce on C-Span and in front of Congressional Leaders that if Congress do not propose a plan anytime soon, he will cancel their upcoming Halloween party at the White House, as well as any future parties.

GOP leader, groaned over the president's new decision, resulting in Obama yelling, "Hey, hey! Quit the drama!"

John Boehner, United State House Speaker and Congress's party planner, was invited to speak on the president's decision. As he took the stand, he burst into outrage. "Are you kidding me? This is the one thing we've been looking forward to all year! I have been planning this party for months!" complained Boehner to Obama.

"I'm sorry John," said Obama to Boehner, "but this party is too expensive. This great nation already has nearly 17 trillion dollars in debt. We can't keep ignoring that forever. This party of yours will only add to the deficient."

When it was John Boehner's turn to speak again, he described what the party would have been like had it not been canceled. C-Span's camera crews recorded every action.

"I had the evening's entertainment all planned out. I was going to have Ted Cruz recite his favorite Dr. Seuss book Green Eggs and Ham while dressed as Hollywood star Ashton Kutcher, followed by a few-minute play about sick children with cancer not receiving their benefits staring Harry Reid, and then finally, Michelle Bachmann and I would teach everybody how to twerk," explained Boehner. "Even former president George W. Bush was planning to come, mainly to show off his artwork. However, I don't know if Dick Cheney would show, canceled or not. When I invited him, he said he didn't want to see Bush and that they're not on speaking terms. Nevertheless, you can't cancel this party! We were even going to serve Miller Beer!"  

"Well, you could still have your party," said Obama after thinking about it for a while. "All you have to do is negotiate with me a plan that will not only work for the new fiscal year, but will not raise the national debt up any higher by October 17th."

Boehner then added, "Did I mention that we were going to play 'pin the tail on the donkey'? Expect not on a cut-out of a donkey, but of you instead, you know? Cuz you're an ass."

"You could still have the party at my house. I don't mind visitors," spoke Vice President Joe Biden. Cheers and applause filled the room.

"That's um... nice, Joe," said Obama, confoundedly.

Nevertheless, President Obama still canceled the party held at the White House until further notice on progress between him and Congress. According to Boehner though, the president is currently off the guest list.

Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.