PHOENIX - Arizona may be known for more than just the beauty of the Grand Canyon thanks to "America's Toughest Sheriff" Joe Arpaio. The Arizona Sheriff is planning to establish unmanned drones to fly over the state, only right now, it is having some technical difficulties.
An unmanned and unarmed test drone landed near the Sheriff's home earlier this morning. According to reports, the Sheriff was outside of his home when he clearly spotted the drone in the sunrise. The drone, however, then spun out of control in the air while a voice monitor rang, "ERROR, ERROR!" The drone flew downwards, almost crashing near the Sheriff himself as witnessed by terrified neighbors.
In an afternoon press conference, Arpaio explained that the main purpose of these drones is to spot criminals and anybody who looks suspicious of criminal activity. These drones, once established, will hoover over most of Arizona during the day. Arpaio also wants to test the drones near the Arizona border due to the lack of support for border security in Washington.
Arpaio was able to relocate where the second test drone had landed, only to pinpoint the home address of Governor Jan Brewer.
Brewer told local reporters that before she went outside and saw the drone coming down towards her, she had been relaxing in her home by drinking coffee and rewriting a proposed policy against the DREAMers act. Although Brewer admitted that watching the drone frightened her, she believed Arpaio's security plan is heading in the right direction. She told one local reporter, "[The drones] should help make Arizona a little more secure, especially if they will be used towards the border. I have been advocating for border security for many months now, so hopefully these future drones will benefit society. I'm sure every person in this great state of Arizona wants more security, just like I do."
Whether or not Arpaio's drone plan will ever happen, he would still need approval from the Federal Aviation Administration in order to legally use them. When asked if he was worried that the FAA would not approve of his drone plan, Arpaio responded, "Of course they can't say no! Are you kidding? If case you haven't noticed, I'm the god-damn sheriff! Lord knows I can take them to Tent City, and trust me, they will quickly change their minds."
Still, Arpaio admitted that the test drones will need more work and to fix up the glitches. "I hope, if my drone plan is approved, that no drones fly near my home," stated Arpaio, "That's the wrong place to look for criminals."
Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.
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