Department Stores Prepare for "White Weekend 2014", Promoting The War on Thanksgiving

It's that time of year again, where department stores nationwide prepare their employees for the one day that really counts in shopping (or so they think) - Black Friday. Over recent years though has Black Friday slowly lost interest with shoppers. As a result of  these department stores not wanting to loose on any business opportunities they can get, many have already decided to prepare for the next Black Friday event - only, it will not be called Black Friday anymore. Instead, these stores are in preparation for a new shopping event called "White Weekend" beginning November 26th, 2014.

White Weekend begins on Wednesday evening, making the event transfer into Thanksgiving and the weekend until the beginning of Cyber Monday. Several big retailers including Walmart, Target, Best Buy, and Toys R Us will begin opening their stores nationwide on Wednesday evening and will stay open late on Black Friday. Throughout these hours, these stores give holiday shoppers the time to prepare and shop at their stores in order to get their Christmas shopping done. The purpose of White Weekend is to promote shopping and going out during the holiday instead of potential customers sitting around lazily in their cozy homes watching whatever is on television.

Many of the spokespeople for these retailers believe stores should take advantage of having huge sales, particularly when the holidays are approaching. But when asked by reporters on their thoughts on sacrificing the Thanksgiving holiday in exchange for savings on better deals people otherwise would not have, many replied, "Thanksgiving? What Thanksgiving?"

A spokesperson for Walmart said in a statement, "The only time Thanksgiving ever happens is when families gather around eating dinner while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with all their singing acts, Broadway musicals and marching bands perform out in the cold. And besides, what choice do we have? This year's calender was screwed up, and so is next year's. We must have holiday shopping sometime."

The spokesperson added, "Don't get me wrong, but Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for the people in your life you otherwise find annoying. It's simple - you say 'Grace' one day, and then the next day while you're punching others for the new flat screen TV you forget that you even counted your blessings with your loved ones to begin with. By the way, did you know that we have a campaign to make our products say they were made in America? Definitely come check that out."

Needless to say, as long as there will be crazy shoppers snatching deals all while acting like toddlers, there will be opportunities for retailers to stay open during the holidays.  

Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.