President Obama: "I Don't Trust Journalists"

With all the raging news of government from media leaks to scandals, one would think that our current POTUS would like to remain quiet for a while. Not President Obama though; he's got some things on his mind.


In a press conference earlier this month, President Obama took his time off from all the current mishaps to answer questions, asked by many curious journalists, on his thoughts about these current events and the media in general.

"I'm in a war with journalists," he said in the room full of journalists the afternoon of the conference. "I'm sorry, but the feeling's mutual."

 Several questions were asked to the president about his administration, from secret email accounts to the ongoing misinformation about attacks in Benghazi."Secret emails," he hissed."As president, I thought my role was to be a leader, not play babysitter."

When asked about his own actions in the media recently, he simply stated this:
"The problem with being in my position is that even the silliest things that happen to me and this administration get taken out of proportion," he continued. "For example, I somehow get lipstick on my collar and the media is all over it as if there's some 'scandal' people need to hear about. I don't want anybody thinking I'm some sort of 'player', especially Michelle. Trust me, when she gets mad - I'm dead. As for people I know, I talked with Bill Clinton last week, and guess what? He called me an amateur! Even Mitt Romney told me, 'Oh, don't feel down about it. Just tell your wife it was an accident. That's what I always tell Ann.' Like I said - it was taken out of context. "

The next few questions in the press conference mainly focused on the IRS scandal, including the IRS holding a "conference" in Disneyland where many employees gathered for relaxation and fun - while the trip was paid by the American people with their taxes.

"You know what they say," the president said. "It's the happiest place on Earth."

But nevertheless, President Obama stated that they shouldn't have done that, noting that their actions will be considered greedy.

When asked about the Star Trek movie the IRS made, Obama replied, "Wait, they made a Star Trek movie? And they didn't ask me to be in it? Outrageous! They should have asked me. After all, I'm a GREAT actor! I played Daniel Day Lewis! I don't think any other actor in Hollywood can be proud to say that!"

The conference was called to a close when news of another scandal broke out in the administration office. President Obama left immediately, but was heard mumbling, "Why did I have to be re-elected for a second term?"

 Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.