Hillary, America's Biggest Political Babysitter, Getting Her "Tweet" On

Last week, the former first lady and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton joined Twitter, one of the biggest social media sites in the world. For Clinton, it's someplace she had never visited before (other than outer space).

We know that she is very addicted to looking at her cell phone, even when its not the appropriate time or place to do so. Having a Twitter account would only make her more addicted than usual.

According to her official Twitter account, she describes herself as, "Wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids advocate, FLOAR, FLOTUS, US Senator, SecState, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, glass ceiling cracker, TBD...".

She also wanted to put, "Under-appreciated, disgusted with men, babysitter of adult male babies/referee for childish male politicians, and the 'brains' behind the Clinton family". However, only 140 characters are allowed on Twitter, so she couldn't add more about herself.

It kind of makes one wonder why she wanted to get a Twitter account to begin with. Perhaps getting a Twitter account made sense because the family is on there (such as taking pictures with her grown-up daughter), or maybe it's part of the strategy for a possible run in the 2016 presidential campaign.  

But earlier today, Hillary Clinton had a recent coffee date with longtime friend and former supporter Ron Perelman. They chatted and gossiped about current events, including her decision to finally join Twitter.

Clinton told him during their coffee outing, "You see Ron, the reason I got a Twitter account was not because I wanted to. Instead, I believe it's the best way I can keep my eye on my husband, Bill. I get suspicious about what he's doing all the time, which is horrible considering I had to keep my eye on all the other male babies running this country. It was bad enough when he was president; that scandal came out of nowhere from his political enemies, and the other about that slut. Now I'm hearing about his so-called illegitimate, bi-racial son he supposedly had with a hooker from Little Rock back when he was Governor of Arkansas. I'm sick of hearing about affairs and love children, so I'm keeping my eye out to make sure nothing else is going on. After all, a Twitter account and a polygraph machine are going to become important tools in my life particularly since I live with America's favorite sex addict."
Perelman answered back, "Understandable."

Although that seems to be the reason, Hillary Clinton hasn't updated her Twitter much. Hopefully, now that Hillary is on Twitter, we expect her Twitter conversations to go like this:

Or this:

Or maybe even this:

And especially this:

 Nevertheless, the Twitter community welcomes her to this new version of her full-time job as detective and babysitter of not only her own husband, but also to the crazy "bundles of joy" - I mean the politicians in her life.

Disclaimer: the following blog post is satire. I do not hold any credibility to this fake story.